healing all the time

wayne famously and repeatedly said that all of us, at all times, in some way are healing.

all of us at all times are searching for growth in some way.

in many myriad ways, each of us is healing and growing.

all the time.

i considered wayne my mentor. and i was his apprentice.

now i know that the wisdom he gifted me was that i am the apprentice of myself,

that i heal by way of my own empowered process of growth.

deep breaths.

you are deeply influential unto yourself.

continually discover and rediscover yourself, an exquisitely expansive

practice of unveiling your highest self.

the key to the shady trail is your attention.

under the shady umbrella of your own inner being, go in and apply this to yourself.

close your eyes.

To Our Friendship

No words I have can bring your presence back to earth. I am sad about this. As of lately I have been driving to the Chestnut Hill Quaker School to teach a class in communication. It is on Mermaid Lane very near where I used to go to see you, from time to time, through many years and tears of my life. I feel both a joy and a sadness when I arrive at the school. My aha! is that I miss you and the sound of your voice that was deep and warm, kind and understanding,reaching out to support and heal.

I realize you will always be there in my heart because although as colleagues we did not always agree, we did agree about the most important ingredient of life, "Love". Thank you for sharing your love with my son and me and so many others.

You were and will always be a special Friend that lives on in my heart.

Blessings to your beautiful family.
Dolly Mama

poets, artists, healers

i keep wayne's business card tucked inside the pages of "the wild braid" by stanley kunitz.

the poet was about 93 years old when he wrote the piece entitled "an incarnation", and i shared that book and passage with wayne about 2 years ago, when he phoned me and called me to his office in philadelphia. i had been living in nyc for 15 years and made the journey to chestnut hill 3 or 4 times a year for long sessions of therapy, mentoring and friendship. this was the only time in our 23 year history together that wayne requested a visit of me. of course, i knew about his long illness and the bouts with cancer as well as his remarkable and inspirational being during those events and remissions. this time he told me that he knew he was not going to be here very much longer. he estimated between a year and two. he generously poured himself in to our session that day, we cried frequently. once, upon hearing a loaded remark of mine around a love relationship i was in, stood his weakened frame up out of his familiar leather chair and at a very thin 6 foot 4 (at least), shouted and cursed in my defense, in fervent support of my very soul! i will never forget that image, the power in his voice or the depth of his love.

the following is a quote from kunitz that i hold honorifically as a torchlight to wayne's influence

on not only myself, which has been crucial, but to the world. you can put healer wherever it says poet or artist, as of course, they are synonymous.

"when an individual dies, the web connecting all life remains. it is reconstituted. the whole construct is renewed; the individual creatures who inhabit the web keep changing....

we forget that the human spirit is poured in to the art form, and becomes the electric center of that spirit among future populations. you can pick up a poem by keats of coleridge and sense the living vibration in the poem. that vibration can not be removed from the poem. it's a remarkable thing. absolutely remarkable....every time we read a poem from the past we resurrect the poet, so that he or she is a presence just as much as anyone living and that is miraculous in itself. any contribution to civilization is a contribution to immortality and that is why the explorers and the inventors, the artists and the political leaders who contribute to history, to the social structure, are really never gone. that's a most encouraging phenomenon."

nixa de bellis

aka barbara de bellis - "barbara, lovely barbara" is what wayne called me from the days of my youth, before i changed my name in '92...like a family member who knows your childhood and everything about you, i never wanted him to change that. i'll always answer to barbara from him or my sister, carole.

gems from wayne

i was cared for by wayne diamond for all of my adult life.

we had over twenty years of seasonal meetings.

like a banyan tree, wayne's teachings grew up and out,

only to go earthward again and root in the ground of potential

in the heart of his patients... and the blossoming up and out emerges

again and from another being, and on and on...

this tree must be continental now, one big banyan of healing jewels

from the brilliant mind and radiant heart of my friend, mentor, doctor,

healer and fellow human being, our beloved wayne.

the following gems remain with me:

"it would be much more LOVING to announce it."

"when you have been wounded, be conscious of what you can GIVE"

"staying connected in the context of emotional pain is the hallmark of INTIMACY"

"in the face of the reflex to run and hide, value CONNECTEDNESS"

"share your feelings with the person you're having feelings with"

"put love and self-respect in a stronger place than your fear of rejection"

"emotional healing is the only healing that is deep enough to get to the root"